Big A** Gun
I have a daughter. Soon she will be dating. I have only one thing to say about that: STAY AWAY FROM HER YOU SICK FRAKS! And to encourage you to stay far FAR away from her, I will soon be purchasing this:
This is the AA-12 combat shotgun. I don’t know who makes it (but I’ll soon find out) and I don’t know how much it costs (nor do I care). I will be purchasing this sexy machine of death to mete out swift justice on any boy who dares to ask my daughter out. I will be greeting him at the door with its fully automatic drum feeder locked and loaded with 20 sweet angels of death. I will laugh at his swiftly expanding wet stain as I pump the first shell into the chamber. I will be firing five rounds per second at the boy’s swiftly retreating ass using a combination of incendiary shells and fragmentory grenade shells. This sweet new best friend has so little recoil that it can be fired one-handed by a strong man. Have I mentioned that I’ve been working out? A LOT? Oh yea. On second thought – go ahead. Ask her out. I dare ya.